What's my role?

Responsibility. The word itself, is so burdensome. Everyone has responsibilities, every parent has responsibility and obligations to their children. But aside from the normal expectations, a family requires, parents of children with special needs have to ensure proper segregation. If the load is not divided evenly, then, one person will be over loaded and it will be truly overwhelming.

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We all have areas we are better in and areas that we are not so well versed in. (strengths and  weaknesses) It is very overwhelming for one parent to do so much. I know, as I tried to be superwoman in the past. I was so paranoid that my hubby was so relaxed that I took on too much of responsibilities. I started going so crazy that I broke down in a matter of time. Thankfully, Peter was there to help me pick up the pieces. He is sweet that way, he stands by me and watch me go crazy trying to so everything, then when I crack up, he comes in to pick up the pieces.

Here are the roles that I take up:

• Meetings at school and hospitals 

Since I am his main caregiver, I can furnish important information to educators and health care professionals.

• Daily routines, acceptable behaviour

Routines are very important to stablize children with autism. Seating at the dinner table, and table etiquette are all important to be taught. And need to be done consistently.

• Homework and acedamics

When Ivan has homework, I am the one who sits down with him. He knows that when I teach him, I go into teacher mode. And he gets that. Mummy mode comes later, when we cuddle.  Since I am an educator, I fit well with teaching Ivan. And I have to always find new ways to teach and engage Ivan. 

Peter's roles:

• Fun time with boys
• Playground fun and exercise routines
• Teaching of toileting routines and shower

Since Peter is more a fun guy, he is in charge of the physical (fun) aspect for rouitnes. Also, since Ivan is a boy, Peter settles the toileting routines with Ivan. Since, Peter works aboard, when ever he comes to town, he gets into his roles. I sometimes, get him to take over some of my duties too, so I can catch a break. And Peter always obliges me, as he knows that I so need a breather. And he sees all these teaching time as an opportunity to spend quality time with his boys.