Showing posts with label beginning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beginning. Show all posts

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Breaking news

I just had a lunch date with my sister and her little boy. They are in the preparation of sending their soon-to-be eightheenth month old to school. It's an exciting journey for both parents and child. It made me start thinking about preshcool for the unborn baby, already. I know its way to early to be thinking about such things. But having been in the childcare senario almost all my working life, I do recall when my boys were send off. This story is more for my boy with special needs. It goes something like this...

The phone rings, and you take a deep breathe... could it be another call for your child? Are you afraid of such calls when teachers call you to inform you about the outburst in school, or the meltdown of your child.

These are normally the beginning stages for some parents, before they are thrust into the tornado called autism. But I must say, I don't remember ever getting such a call for Ivan.

When Ivan was eighteen months old, I enrolled him into a Childcare.(just like his elder brother) I worked for the same management, but was in another branch. I would check with my colleagues about Ivan's progress. They didn't say much as they thought he was going through his anxiety phase.

But the updates that I got from the teachers, they were not much to work on. The teachers mentioned that he didn't like transitions. When the class left for the playground, Ivan would cry to leave the class. Then when they finally got him there, returning back to class was another fiasco. These reports however, could also be similar to a child who is getting used to the new routines in the school, something in the range of separation anxiety.

After a month, when most of the children had settled, Ivan was still fussy and anxious. He would cry then drink milk and fall asleep. My boss was doing her Degree at that time and noticed something peculiar about Ivan's behaviour. She realized that there were some traits if autism in Ivan.

She called me up, and asked me up come down after work. I did and I must admit I was thrown off by what she said.

She very cautiously, addressed the behaviour issues she noticed and then introduced the word, autism. By then my head was spinning. What? Who? How? Huh?

But being an educator myself, also because this information was coming from someone I respected, I remained calm. My husband on the other hand didn't take the news too well.

We were on two ends of the equation. We were lost and confused. We were both in no shape to help our little boy. We went through lots of disagreements and decided to wait on the matter eventually.


Somewhere around a year later, I told Peter, that something had to be done. We could not just sit around waiting, thinking that our boys was simply a late bloomer. I handed him the autism checklist and told him to check it by himself. Should he find many similarities, then he was to move in my direction. 


He did the checklist and there was no denying. There was something amiss. It was time me got some form of help. And so the journey began.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

How it all began?

The year was 2002. I am sitting at the therapist office at KKH, CDC. The therapist, introduced me to Autism, one that was going to join us for the rest of our lives. But I didn't really comprehend this, at that time.

I recall, having so many thoughts racing through my mind at that time. I took the sheets of paper given to me, got up from my chair and held my baby's hand. We walked out of the room, with the same expression... blank. I headed to the payment counter and then to the taxi stand. Came home without saying a word. What was this "autism" that followed me back home? I had never heard of this before.

I guess the word used in the 90s to describe children that were challenged was called "retarded". Did my boy have this? It sounded really bad... I was confused, worried, upset... so many emotions, that I could not name all of them.

I didn't have much to say, I didn't call anyone. I headed straight to the laptop. I Googled "autism", and started reading. Vaguely, I understood, what I read. I knew for sure that something was seriously wrong with my baby. I shared the information with my hubby when he came home. It wasn't shocking, he just went silent. He always does that when he was troubled. It went on for days. I was waiting for him, to comfort me. I don't really know what was going through his mind though. A week went by and the silence persisted. Eventually, I confronted him. I was lost. He was lost. Ivan was lost in all this.

We knew that we had so much to deal with individually, that we simply could not discuss the matter just then. We discussed the matters that were cruicial for decision making at that time. We then left to our own corners to lick our wounds. It was to complicated to express in simple words.