Denial...

When I experienced denial, it came sightly different from my hubby, Peter. I just felt so empty, I felt a big loss. I started to avoid meeting people. I just wanted to be alone. I experienced all kinds of emotions, I felt confused, ashamed, afraid, worried... I kept asking myself, if this was really happening.

Sometimes, there were so many emotions, that I was usually emotionally numb. Physically, I was exhausted all the time. Even if I sat still, my thoughts we raving and I was just exhausted. I needed lots of rest and sleep, but I didn't always get them. But I did end up crying everyday. I was an emotional wreck.

This autism had entered our lives, like a tornado and threw up all our dreams and hopes that we had for our boy. I was feeling a loss, while I myself was lost. Peter and I was going through so much, that we rather not talk about it. We tried dealing with it on our own, but we both needed to talk to someone. We needed to get it off our chests.

Denial

The Stage of Denial
As humans, many a times, we try to hide ourselves in this place called Denial. For some of us, the situations seem too much, that blocking it out seems only fair. I can fairly say that the same goes for parents of children with special needs. There are a couple of stages that we all go through, but they may not be in the same order. Denial of course, is one that everyone would have visited at one point or another. "My child has a problem? Autism? Asperger's Syndrome? Really? ... Seriously, I don't think so."

Have you hear these words in your mind? Well don't be ashamed, we all have entertained this once before. We all deal with trials differently, I waited a year to breakdown, while my hubby spent a year in a place called Denial. When he was on board, I broke down. One of us had to be functioning with sanity. I will share more on this experience soon.